Recharged!

http://running.about.com/od/gettingstarted/ss/illness.htm
This was a good 7+ question way to answer whether or not you should go work out if you are potentially "under the weather"

So no run today -I had the sniffles .. I have had the sniffles for the past week+ and I want them to go away! Other reasons (excuses) include I need to get some 7 mile + energy source that I can have on race day and take it with me for my next run... i.e jelly beans or goo or what have you. I think that is a big reason why I seem to stop at 7,8, 9 miles- I feel great but my brain probably stops working since its out of glucose fuel- and or my body needs a boost to keep it going.

I also have nothing appropriate to wear for race day and I need to find some stuff or at least try out what i do have to make sure it won't/will do.


Dinner:
Leftover whole wheat angel hair, sauce and Fake Steak! The fake steak is totally vegetarian. I like the way it is but it is not anywhere near the texture of filet or ribeye....


FUN dessert!
nonfat greek yogurt, mixed in one tablespoon of no pudge brownie mix and 1/4 cup fruit colored marshmallows, a teaspoon of pb, a tablespoon of coconut.... Yum! Yum! Yum!

The reasoning behind this dessert:

Nana make these amazing tasting "chocolate windows"... super easy recipe but not the healthiest ( although not bad- it requires 12 oz. Chocolate Chips, 1 Cup Peanut Butter ( i could use natural) 1/2 Cup Butter or Margarine ( I could do smart balance?) 2 Cups Miniature Marshmallows, 2 Cups Rice Krispies 12 oz. ). So I bought the marshmallows and planned on making these bad boys for christmas or something- since I had to get the whole bag I figured I would try out another recipe...

I did a "B-Healthy" version of ambrosia based from the package recipe:
1/2 banana





1 cup sour cream ( sub 1 cup nonfat greek yogurt_)





1 cup marshmallows (sub 2/3 cup)





coconut ( I used two tablespoons unsweetened)





1 cup orange sections ( didnt have any)





1 cup crushed pineapple ( I just cut up a small apple into tiny chunks)





Mix all together and chill at least 15 minutes.
So I did that minus the orange sections and pineapple... SO YUMMY!











and then realized ...

I had no pudge mix ! And knowing that I totally would eat the whole pan of brownies in two days- I avoid that by making single serving brownies- well- I thought I could do the brownie part with yogurt, then do the add ins part from the ambrosia and make it like Nana's Chocolate Windows B-Healthy style!

Sort of worked out- it was delicious- but not the same... still a great satisfying dessert! but i would not recommend anyone repeat it unless they were prepared for potential dessert-failure. It was fun trying!



So, I rested and prepared ( mentally and physically) today in hopes to get a decent run in tomorrow ( I am keeping my fingers crossed but I realize anything could happen tomorrow morning!) a fake race. It all depends on how my knee feels and how my sniffles feel too!


Body:

Yoga, Strength: Abs, Back, Biceps, Quads (BBQ) .
My triangle poses felt AMAZING today- I can totally tell a difference from even a few weeks ago!

Mind:
Class was phenomenal! 3 great article presentations on native american health and flaxseed reducing cholesterol levels in postmenapausal native american women, african american adolescent obesity intervention in chicago schools, and acculturation of hispanic and latino populations. In addition to this... I took out a book on Food and Culture and found all this great information for MY presentation in three weeks! Woohoo! I seriously LOVE this Minority Health Seminar - I would love to take this class again and do more!

Soul:
prepare yourselves, this is a long one:

If you have been reading my blog you probably know that I worked as an instructor of kids with Autism, and since starting back to school this semester and injuring my knee for marathon training- I had to stop working at the school I taught at . My afternoon student was very dear to me and was doing AMAZING before I left. Well, his mom has since asked me to work with him at home. At first she asked if I could do evening/weekend hours, which aside from my schoolwork time - those hours are not suitable for me because they are my relaxation hours, catch up with Jeff and friends, finish up projects, etc. Plus I am not as good of a teacher during those hours since I would have to go from class 4-6 then try to teach him 6-8- hello DINNER?!?
So... she found a way I could come 2.5 hours in the morning- she was pulling him out of preschool in the mornings because he was not thriving at that school ( the teachers were not 1:1 or even somewhat aware of how to teach jacob). I would get paid through this agency, so his mom could actually supplement that- We all win, right? Not exactly.

The more trainings I have had to do with this agency, the more I realize how much brain energy it takes away from studying nutrition, how much time it takes out of my schedule that I could be doing research projects or shadowing an RD or finding jobs in the field, or focusing on thesis work etc etc etc... the more I also realized how "stupid" this agency is- check the cpr incident yesterday morning...The more I work with Jacob, the worse I feel because I want him to have everything in the world, be so successful that it would be as if he never had a diagnosis at all, and I feel like it all started downhill for him when I left work and he started the new morning school.

So I have gone to his house only a few times, his mom paid me for my time ( a total of 8 hours these past two months) and I didn't accept the money she was going to give me for this past sunday. I think more so because friends don't pay you to hang out with them, and I would be starting with the agency soon enough that her $30 or whatever is more valuable to her than it was to me.

The more I have gone to his house, the more I realize how much it takes out of me to do intensive therapy with him. It is another big thing that will not be a quick 2 hours of mindless work, its difficult and stressful and I take it seriously so I give 110%.

I was feeling like this is not the situation for me to work and this is not where I want to go with my life and how do I get out now that I have started with this agency!?

Well, last night his mom asked me "Will you lie on your timesheet for us?" She wants me to lie so that her case manager, who says even though he is not recquired to be in preschool he cannot have supplemental therapy during those morning hours I can go...only during evening/weekend hours can he have extra therapy.

I don't think I can handle the lying, the plotting, the planning around visits from case managers that I would have to do and not to mention the fact that if.... IF something were to happen and the wrong person found out I lied on my hours, I would be fired for that. That will stay with me for the rest of my entire career. The chance of it happening might be small, but the consequences if anything should happen are FAR to great to mess up my entire life career.

It was as if this greater force was telling me "Wake up! You kept saying this was not going to be good, well here is the final straw- here is your way out!"

Maybe I am reading to much into this... What do you think ?